Outside the Fire
by komotumushi
Summary: A song comes on while Chance is working on the Turbokat and he begins to think about what he is doing and why he does it. This is a Chance POV.


_**We call them cool**_

_**Those hearts that have no scars to show**_

_**The ones that never do let go**_

_**And risk it the tables being turned**_

Chance looked at his stereo that he had been playing while fixing the Turbokat. Looking at the shiny surface of the now freshly cleaned and fixed jet, he smiled some, his tail wagging some as he thought about the song. It was, well, it reminded him of Razor and himself. Looking at the hidden launch pad, he chuckled more then went back to fixing up the engine. Razor was away that day, spending time with an orphanage. Shaking his head, he knew Razor had a big heart, and his friend did a lot of volunteer work, even with their debt they had to pay for the Enforcers. He listened to the song, his tail moving in tune with the lyrics.

_**We call them fools**_

_**Who have to dance within the flame**_

_**Who chance the sorrow and the shame**_

_**That always come with getting burned**_

Looking at the wall of all the many newspaper clippings of them in the earlier years that they had begun to work. Foolish, crazy, and many other words described the two 'hot shots' who had started to take over for the Enforcers and he smiled some. He finished the engine and shut the hood of the jet, moving down the ladder with ease. He moved to the stereo, turning it up louder as he headed to the showers. He removed his overalls and the t-shirt he wore under it. Slipping out of his boxers he moved into the shower, letting the hot water run over his body. Smiling some more, he closed his eyes, relaxing and letting the water ease his troubles away.

_**But you got to be tough when consumed by desire**_

_**'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire**_

Listening to the deep voice of the singer, he snickered some. Desire… they had desired to do this, but what was the cost. The unexplained injuries to those who came by, the disappearances. His ears flattened against his head as he thought about his sister. His parents who had no idea. Then to Jake who had no one to worry about him. He shook his head. That was where he was wrong. He cared about Jake. He always tried to take the blunt of everything for his little buddy. He sighed and began to scrub the dirt, oil, and grim from his body. He cared so much for Jake, so much for the only thing that had been constant in his life. He closed his eyes. Jake would never understand, and he would never force him too.

_**We call them strong**_

_**Those who can face this world alone**_

_**Who seem to get by on their own**_

_**Those who will never take the fall**_

He snorted. Strong, alone, yeah right. He could never face all that he had on his own. He had to have his friend… truthfully… his only friend there with him. He had a few people he knew here and there, but Jake had been a good friend. He had confided so much in the brown tom that he thought so highly of his friend. He smiled more then looked at the reflection of himself in the mirror and his ear flattened. Where he had grown up, he had been so close to becoming one of the very kats that he tried to protect the city from. What would he have done if he had taken a different road… one so many of those born in the gutters of the city took.

_**We call them weak**_

_**Who are unable to resist**_

_**The slightest chance love might exist**_

_**And for that forsake it all**_

Looking at his clean pants and t-shirt, he sighed and sat down to listen to the lyrics, the towel wrapped around him as he clipped his nail, sharpening them so that they were in perfect condition for the fights to come, for the attacks, and the scratches he knew he would have to inflict if need be. He snorted. Yeah right, like he could hurt someone who was not trying to hurt him, but that was what all his 'dates' thought. He had yet to tell his friend of his choices, his gender of choice. He could never submit his friend to knowing all that, knowing what they had been through.

_**They're so hell bent on giving, walking a wire**_

_**Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire**_

Smiling at that, he stood to finish his dressing. He put on a fresh pair of boxers then to the wall to the test runs they had both gone through so many times. He had an idea and moved to his locker. Pulling out his SwatKat uniform, he slipped it on, helmet included as he made it so the music played through the training. He punched in a few things then waited for the door to slide open. Once it did, he was off, seeing just what he could do on his own, without Jake. Without Razor.

_**Standing outside the fire**_

_**Standing outside the fire**_

_**Life is not tried it is merely survived**_

_**If you're standing outside the fire**_

He ran through each obstacle and kept his focus on the feeling of being alone. The feeling of not being able to do anything at all without having to look over his shoulder for the attacks that Razor usually got for him. He was soon out of breath by the time he reached the break between the third and fourth levels. He held his chest, unable to breathe as well as he had once been able to, or how easily could with Razor there. He closed his eyes, listening to the music. He smiled some, shaking his head. How could he be standing outside? He was the center of it, burning from the inside out, hiding his feelings. Hiding who he was, doing what he did, Chance shook his head. But he would do it. He would do what he had to too keep the one he loved safe, to keep his family safe, and to keep his city safe and show all those who thought they couldn't do what they wanted, that they just had to reach for the skies.

_**There's this love that is burning**_

_**Deep in my soul**_

_**Constantly yearning to get out of control**_

_**Wanting to fly higher and higher**_

_**I can't abide standing outside the fire**_

He took the final level and once he was out, he fell to his knees breathing hard. He couldn't do this; he could never do this alone. Never. Looking up when he heard a laugh, he looked at Jake who had his arms crossed. "And what do you think you are doing?" he asked and Chance gave him a weak smile. "Seeing… what I could do… is all…" he lied, out of breath. He tried to stand and fell back to his knees, Jake running to him. "Why did you do this without me here you idiot…" was said as the smaller tom helped him to sit down on a bench. He closed his eyes, unable to tell the other his fear of loosing the other, of telling the truth. He smiled weakly. "You're in better shape than me buddy, had to give it a go…"he said as he was handed a water bottle. "Oh, you reckless idiot. Chance watched as Jake walked to the stereo, turning it off right after the end of the song and he sighed. He would continue to hide who he really was.

He would hide from Megakat City as T-Bone.

He would hide from his parents for fear of their rejection

He would hide from his sister to keep her safe.

And he would hide from Jake, so the kat he loved could continue on, without such a heavy burden of knowing his best friend loved him and he didn't return the feelings.

He would hide… and he would stand outside the fire.


End file.
